YOUR NEXT CAR SHOULD BE A SUBARU

So, yeah... been a long weekend.

I won't post any details as to what happened, but I would highly suggest you buy a Subaru for your next car. Or maybe just go buy one even if you're not looking for a new car.

From Friday-

 

 

 

 

A friend commented that the interior looked "almost disturbingly clean". Yup.

 

All I will say about it at this point is that I was the only one in my car and I walked away with only a minor abrasion on my wrist from where the airbag caught a bracelet and a slight abrasion and bruise from my seat belt.

 

I actually should credit my powerlifting with some of my good condition coming out of the wreck, especially my lack of whiplash, but that car did everything it was designed to do.

 

I was a fan of Subaru before, I am a believer now.

Biergartenopolis: The Portland Wrap Up

Amongst the activities and to dos in my recent trip to Portland, my buddy Brian reminded me that I do, in fact, enjoy beer. That said I feel it is my duty to, on occasion, drink beer and upon completion of drinking said beer report back to you, dear reader, with my findings.

So without further ado...

BEHOLD!

You will have to forgive my gravitation towards the IPAs, I enjoy them muchly and they were plentiful up in the area. Most of this has been already written in the previous chapters of the Portland saga, but here we will gather them up in one place, add a few, and check out an oddity. A freak of nature, if you will. 

But first...

Pic from Ninkasi's site

Ninkasi's Believer Double Red Ale. Ninkasi is a brewery out of Eugene, Oregon. Check the link for their notes on the beer, which I found to be pretty representative of the beer. A little lighter of a beer than I really like, but still very good stuff overall.

Maybe the best IPA ever.

The second beer of the night, which honestly may one of my favorite beers ever, was Elysian Brewing's Valhalla Red IPA. Not representative of Oregon, sadly, as Elysian is located in Seattle, but holy shit was this an awesome IPA. Powerful, but not overly bitter, with just the right amount of citrus and floral notes and a bedroom stare that makes you want to drink it all night. And it's called Valhalla Red IPA. If it's good enough for Odin, it's good enough for me.

Eugene, Oregon's Oakshire Brewing's Overcast Espresso Stout. While Brian didn't like this one (he's not a fan of stouts) I found it rather good. A little bitter, as expected with a stout, without quite the creaminess in the finish of, say, a Guinness or similar. More of a straight up stout, the coffee flavor is well incorporated and not overbearing. A good coffee oatmeal stout. 

Silver Moon Pumpkin Ale. This one was almost a dare. Brian and I were talking about silly peoples and there pumpkin infatuation come the autumn and decided to grab this on the condition that we split it three ways. Fair enough. I have to say that it wasn't awful. Brian couldn't finish his portion and while I didn't mind it, definitely decided I would never drink it of my own volition. We agreed that it wasn't the fault of the pumpkin flavor, really, but more of the spice that used. It has a crisp autumn flavor, like mulled wine and dry leaves, but I don't know that that is really what I want in a beer. In a pie, maybe. In a beer, don't think so. 

Ninkasi Brewing's Tricerahops. If it weren't for the Valhalla previously mentioned, this one would probably have been my favorite beer of the trip. It's a big, bold IPA with just about everything ready to beat your face in without going over the edge. Not as bright as the Valhalla but with the citrus of the hops in good balance with the "bigness" to make a very good beer. Note the 8.8% ABV - it's getting into "big beer" territory but you would barely know it from the flavor. Hell of an IPA.

Ninkasi Brewing's Radiant Ale. Not sure why the difference on the site- on Ninkasi's site they refer to this one as a pale ale and the badging is different on the bottle on the site. If this is considered a pale ale (Ninkasi's site calls it a "Northwest Pale Ale"), it is a light one. Don't get me wrong, it's a good beer, but it doesn't have that punch of a strong IPA. Plenty flavorful with more of the floral and citrus of the hops with the smoothness of the malt making a bigger showing than in an average IPA.

Portland's own Burnside Brewing Company's Sweet Heat. Pretty sure this beer started off somewhere as a bet that someone lost. It's a wheat ale that is brewed with apricot and finished with Scotch Bonnet peppers.

Scotch Bonnets, bro.

It's not a bad beer, but I couldn't get over the juxtaposition of heat and beer. It had a decent rich ale flavor, but for me the pepper and heat complete killed anything having to do with apricot. I made a "This is fucking weird" comment after almost literally every sip of my pint. 

Didn't help that I was also eating my blueberry cake donut between sips.

Good donut, weird beer.

Portland can keep this one.  

Bend, Oregon's 10 Barrel Brewing's Apocalypse IPA. This was a fun one, and the more I think back on it, the more fond I become of it. The first sip was kind of a punch in the mouth. It has all the hoppy bitterness you want out of an IPA but really kicked up the citrus and fruit notes of the hops. Plenty smooth and still very drinkable. Bravo to 10 Barrel for hitting a good balance on this beer. If you don't expect an IPA to be "bright"  and alive this one will change your mind.

Good ol' Ninkasi, back for another round with their Maiden The Shade. The bottle calls it a "specialty ale", and indeed, it is one of their specialty line, and the site refers to it as a "summer IPA", which I guess I can acknowledge. I wasn't a huge fan of this one- it didn't quite stand up like a lot of the beers we had over the weekend did. Not a bad beer by any means- it is just a lighter IPA. No real stand out notes to my uneducated palate, but it definitely did not taste like a watered down IPA- just a kinder, gentler IPA.

As mentioned in the third chapter of the Portland Saga, I stopped in at the Made In Oregon store after passing through security at PDX and picked up a couple bombers to take home. 

But first...

What's all this, then?

Oh... my... god...

In case you can't read it from my laser precise photography...

Beard Beer is brewed with a yeast created from John Maier's beard. No need to freak out, brewers have used wild yeasts in beer making for centuries. John has had the same old growth beard since 1978 and for over 15,000 brews, so it is no great surprise that a natural yeast ideal for brewing was discovered in his beard.

What does Beard Beer taste like? Try it, we think you'll be surprised...

No, god damn it. I will not try it. 

I am the owner of my own beard, not as old a growth as Old John's...

Damn, I'm fine...

but that might make me even more reluctant to drink a beer made from beard fungus. It may very well be a lovely concoction, but eff that noise.

Pic from Ninkasi's site. I hate when I forget to get pictures.

The first of the two purchases was the Ninkasi Total Domination. So I feel bad because I am pretty sure that we had one of these up in Portland while I was visiting, but I forgot to put it in the blog. At any rate, this is a really good IPA. Powerful enough without being overbearing, balanced, a little citrus but not a ton, not too floral or fruity. If I could place any one IPA as the standard or baseline of what an IPA should aspire to, this is pretty damned close. I will say that I enjoy an IPA with a little more punch, but this is a damn fine one that could be sipped or swigged in almost any circumstance. Vurry nice.

The last from the trip was Hellion from Portland's Gigantic Brewing. This is essentially an IPA influenced Belgian style ale. I have to say that I am not generally a fan of Belgians as I find them too sweet, but this one is not bad at all. It has more the body of an IPA or heavy ale, with the sweetness of a Belgian and a dryer finish. If you are on the fence about Belgians, give this one a shot if you have the opportunity.

So there you have it. If you find yourself in the PNW, give any of these a nod. That Elysian is an experience any love of hops should totes treat themselves to at some point, with the Ninkasis providing a solid and reliable back up. A few oddities in there, but all in all I have to say I like what they are doing up in them there woods. 

Go forth, Amurrica, and give something new a try!

Portland, part 3 - donuts, fighting, beer, home

So here we are, folks. The spine tingling, bone chilling, hair raising, and barbarian defeating final chapter in my first visit to Portland. 

Part 1 can be found here

Part 2 resides here

Now where were we... ah, yes... Voodoo Doughnut. How conflicted I am with thee. 

Voodoo is one if those local things that everyone in Portland knows of, takes part in at least once, and then tells their friends and relatives, coworkers, and passers by about. Located on SW 3rd Ave in what is referred to as "Old Town" Portland

Pic from Oregon Dot Com

Voodoo is the brain child of two Portland natives who actually conceptualized it before they knew how to make it. Long story short, they thought it up, realized they actually had to know how to make doughnuts, traveled and learned how to make doughnuts, then brought the skills back to town and set about opening up shop. They must have started out doing something right, because Voodoo is one of those places that forms a line reportedly pretty much at any point in the day and keeps on rolling pretty steady.

That was the line at about 3:00PM or so when we went by. Apparently there was a...

wait for it...

wedding going on inside, so we waited about 30 or 45min for our turn to order. An excessive waste of time for donuts (or doughnuts)? Maybe. BUT it did afford us more time to share dick and fart jokes, get into some social commentary, talk about kids, work, and life in general, and get some people watching in. 

 Slogan courtesy of Austin, Texas.The walking tour guy that passed by even said so.

 What's going on here, then?

 This guy (note the bag)...

is flying this kite. Pinnacle of human achievement.

Inside the shop, pic from their website.

 Coffin full of donuts. Kind of awesome.

Da loot.

So here's the master list of do(ugh)nuts. Brian got himself the Rapper's Delight combo, a blueberry cake and lemon chiffon for Lyndsay. I ordered the Memphis Mafia (natch), the Diablos Rex (durr), the Voodoo Doll (kinda had to), and a blueberry cake. 

Because blueberry cake. Blueberry cake is bossome. I like to use it as a litmus test for any donut shop. If a shop's blueberry cake donut is shite, might as well hang it up.

Do(ugh)nuts procured, hipsters and hippies rock free, we rolled back to the Links' place for some excellent smoked burgers, beer, and fight night. 

First, a grocery trip, then dinner and some pumpkin carving, then a

Silver Moon Pumpkin Ale. This one was almost a dare. Brian and I were talking about silly peoples and there pumpkin infatuation come the autumn and decided to grab this on the condition that we split it three ways. Fair enough. I have to say that it wasn't awful. Brian couldn't finish his portion and while I didn't mind it, definitely decided I would never drink it of my own volition. We agreed that it wasn't the fault of the pumpkin flavor, really, but more of the spice that used. It has a crisp autumn flavor, like mulled wine and dry leaves, but I don't know that that is really what I want in a beer. In a pie, maybe. In a beer, don't think so. 

On to Fight Night.

Fight Night, when the Links were in Memphis, was a hallowed institution of man gathering and has sadly not taken place for the majority of the two years and change the Links have been in Oregon. This trip was, of course, the perfect opportunity to fire it back up, at least in spirit. It was a good card, UFC on FoxSports2, with Lyoto Machida v Mark Munoz as the main card.  That fight was excellent- short, but intense- and most of the undercards were very entertaining. We also watched the Jones v Gustafsson fight that Brian had recorded from September- Gustafsson was cheated in the decision. Few other random fights, and several episodes of Eastbound and Down.

And more beers.

In no particular order-

Ninkasi Brewing's Tricerahops. If it weren't for the Valhalla previously mentioned, this one would probably have been my favorite beer of the trip. It's a big, bold IPA with just about everything ready to beat your face in without going over the edge. Not as bright as the Valhalla but with the citrus of the hops in good balance with the "bigness" to make a very good beer. Note the 8.8% ABV - it's getting into "big beer" territory but you would barely know it from the flavor. Hell of an IPA.

Ninkasi Brewing's Radiant Ale. Not sure why the difference on the site- on Ninkasi's site they refer to this one as a pale ale and the badging is different on the bottle on the site. If this is considered a pale ale (Ninkasi's site calls it a "Northwest Pale Ale"), it is a light one. Don't get me wrong, it's a good beer, but it doesn't have that punch of an IPA. Plenty flavorful with more of the floral and citrus of the hops with the smoothness of the malt making a bigger showing than in an IPA.

Portland's own Burnside Brewing Company's Sweet Heat. Pretty sure this beer started off somewhere as a bet that someone lost. It's a wheat ale that is brewed with apricot and finished with Scotch Bonnet peppers.

Scotch Bonnets, bro.

It's not a bad beer, but I couldn't get over the juxtaposition of heat and beer. It had a decent rich ale flavor, but for me the pepper and heat complete killed anything having to do with apricot. I made a "This is fucking weird" comment after almost literally every sip of my pint. 

Didn't help that I was also eating my blueberry cake donut between sips.

Good donut, weird beer.

Portland can keep this one.  

Also about this time, found that the metal cashier at Voodoo left my Diablos Rex out of the order. Bastards.

Bend, Oregon's 10 Barrel Brewing's Apocalypse IPA. This was a fun one- the first sip was kind of a punch in the mouth. It has all the hoppy bitterness you want out of an IPA but really kicked up the citrus and fruit notes of the hops. Plenty smooth and still very drinkable. Bravo to 10 Barrel for hitting a good balance on this beer. If you don't expect an IPA to be "bright" this one will change your mind.

Somewhere in there this happened-

The Voodoo Doll donut. Yeah, it's pretty much just a big éclair with raspberry filling instead of cream, but it is pretty darned good.

And the last one for the trip...

Good ol' Ninkasi, back for another round with their Maiden The Shade. The bottle calls it a "specialty ale", and indeed, it is one of their specialty line, and the site refers to it as a "summer IPA", which I guess I can acknowledge. I wasn't a huge fan of this one- it didn't quite stand up like a lot of the beers we had over the weekend did. Not a bad beer by any means- it is just a lighter IPA. No real stand out notes to my uneducated palate, but it definitely did not taste like a watered down IPA, just a kinder, gentler IPA.

 Beers done, Kenny Fucking Powers watched, we headed to bed. 

SUNDAY

A little later start to this morning, and much the same ritualistically as the others. Still sad that I feel compelled to check work email first thing.

Shower, "good morning", coffee, one of these

Behold! The Memphis Mafia do(ugh)nut. Decent, but could have been more awesomer. It's essentially a big ass banana fritter with chocolate frosting, peanut butter sauce, peanuts, chocolate chips. In my humblest of humble opinions, the banana and peanut butter were absolutely drowned out by the choco frosting and the chocolate chips. I actually ended up scraping off some of the chocolate chips and wishing for more banana.

C'est la vie, it was good enough and went well with a cup of coffee.   

More dick and fart jokes, more online flight check in, and a Mexican lunch later and Brian and I were on our way back to the airport. I bid my hetero life mate from the other side of the country a short adieu (good byes are never awesome when friends part), and I was in the belly of PDX.

Which is kind of cool, because the belly of PDX contains, amongst other things, the Made In Oregon store, where one has a last chance to purchase Oregon things to take home. Prime place to purchase a bottle of the Total Domination and another beer, Portland's own Gigantic Brewing Company's Hellion. More on that one later.

PDX's security, by the by, might be the nicest security ever. Even got a, "Oh, so you're a powerlifter, eh?" out of one of them upon seeing my EliteFTS shirt. Short conversation, but good to see they're operating with some level of decency and life experience.

Long flight, not awful, hit SLC, another single terminal connection. This almost got a "woot!" until they messed it all up. Instead of a 32min layover with a quick gate transition, I got two hours of this: 

Which really, in the grand scheme of things, was not terrible. Got to charge my phone up and call my lovely wife lady and chat for a bit about her day and our sometimes cooperative now five year old. Always good to hear from home, even if I was almost there.

Hit the ground in Memphis at about 1:30AM, my sainted brother arrived in his Honda chariot to bring my weary self home. 

And oh, how I was home.

Shenanigans had, friends visited and conversed with, 44 liter hiking pack deposited on the couch, I found a little treat, left for me by my wife. 

A little taste of home.

As beautiful as Portland is, as crafty as their beers want to brew, and as weird as their do(ugh)nut shops want to be... can't fade them Gibson's, son!

Many thanks to my buddy, Brian, and his wife, Lyndsay, for enduring my presence for a few days, carting me around town, and laughing at my jokes. Looking forward to getting up there again, hopefully sooner than later.